


Never Trust A Spy

by Scotland_Axel (orphan_account)



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Married Couple, Married Life, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 13:12:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14333169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Scotland_Axel
Summary: “Are you calling to wax poetic about your husband again?”“...No, well...maybe.”Or the one where Steve can't get to sleep and what else can he do other than call Nat to gush about Sam?





	Never Trust A Spy

**Author's Note:**

> Based off a headcanon I got from an anon on tumblr explaining Nat's new hair

Steve’s laid still for so long that his body has started to fall asleep without his mind. He feels paralyzed lying there as his limbs go offline, and suddenly a sensation of cold seeps into his bones as if he’s been frozen all over again, and Steve gives up. Sighing, he brings his hand up to rub at his eyes. The room is silent except for the blowing of a fan, and Steve starts when the bed shifts next to him.

His eyes fall to the man sleeping next to him, half of Sam’s face hidden by the pillow he’s hugging tighter, snores beginning to rumble past his lips. Just the sight of him is enough to put Steve at ease, and with one long exhale any and all frustration leaves his body, a soft smile coming over his face.

These moments are becoming fewer and farther between since he’s married Sam, and for that he cherishes them even more, the moments when he forgets he no longer sleeps alone, no longer lives alone.

Steve’s eyes trace every inch of Sam’s face from his brow, to the hair on his chin, and the more he stares the more heat washes over his skin, the more he longs to wake Sam up with kisses just to hear his voice sleepily tell him “I’m trying to sleep” or “Knock it off.” Steve can already hear his voice in his head, and his heart runs rampant when he thinks of the way Sam would look at him, annoyed but bemused as well, sleepy and fond.

Almost of its own accord Steve’s hand reaches out, but before it can land on Sam’s shoulder Steve snatches it back and grabs his phone off the nightstand instead. He doesn’t take his eyes off of Sam as he goes to recent calls and taps the first number.

The phone picks up after one ring and Natasha hisses, “What?”

“Is this a bad time?” Steve asks, more to be polite than anything.

And knowing this Natasha scoffs and says, “When is it _not_ a bad time, Steve? I could be halfway across the galaxy, kidnapped by space pirates and you would still carry on with the conversation.”

“That’s not true, and I doubt there’s cell phone reception halfway across the galaxy.”

“Shut up, what do you need?”

“...Nothing.”

Steve can hear Nat roll her eyes along with a few gunshots, “Are you calling to wax poetic about your husband again?”

“...No, well...maybe.”

Steve hears someone howl in pain over the line before Nat says, “Okay, but this is the _last_ time, Rogers.”

“Last time, I promise.”

“And I want new points — don't get stuck on Sam's arms again.”

“They’re great arms, but fine. Let’s start with,” Steve hums to himself and giggles when Sam’s snores grow louder, “Do you hear that?”

“No, Steve, I just shot a guy in the kneecaps and he’s being a real brat about it. I’ve been shot in the kneecaps — I did _not_ scream this much.”

“Okay…” Steve frowns, wincing, and tries to shake that mental image from his head. “Anyway, Sam’s snoring right now, he only does it when he’s sleeping on his stomach. It's soft and kind of...comforting?” Steve laughs at himself,  “And safe, reminds me of bunking down with the Howling Commandos. I’m tempted to roll him over though.”

Steve hears two more gunshots and a scuffle before Nat says, “And why would you do that?”

“It’s just harder to cuddle him this way. If I sleep on top of him Sam says it’s like waking up with an elephant on his back, and now I’m scared of suffocating my husband in my sleep. I don't think that’s something Captain America can come back from.”

Natasha snickers, “Imagine _that_ headline.”

“Let's not.”

“Fine, then let’s talk about how you and Sam are the most cuddle-dependent couple in the world. I’m surprised you didn't break out in hives from not falling asleep in his ‘firm, loving arms that make the world shrink away.’”

Steve scoffs, “First of all, I have never said that, and second of all, I don't sound like that.”

“Oh, Steve, but you do, you really do — that was verbatim. You sound like the heroine of an erotic historical romance sometimes.”

“What do you mean verbatim?”

“...”

“Nat, have you been _recording_ these conversations?!”

“Shh! Wouldn’t want to wake sleeping beauty now, would we?”

Steve sucks in a breath in order not to scream and hisses, “Romanov, I am going to _strangle_ you.”

“You shouldn’t do that. Then I wouldn’t be able to cut all of our late night Sam fests into a mixtape — that’s your one year anniversary present, by the way.”

Steve pinches the bridge of his nose, picturing how smug Nat must look right now. She doesn’t have an ounce of remorse, and why should she? Steve brought this on himself. He shakes his head even as he’s biting back a smile, and tries not to think of all the sappy things he’s said sitting on a memory card somewhere.

“I am _never_ calling you again.”

“Aw, Steve, don't be like that. I think there’s a very important lesson to be learned here — never trust a spy.”

* * *

The Next Morning

Steve watches Sam wake up with a groan, stretching his arms above his head and arching his back. He yawns and blinks slowly before looking at him, immediately laughing when he sees Steve’s staring.

Sam shakes his head, “How many times have I told you that Edward Cullen shit is _not_ romantic? And why are you dressed, have you been up all night?”

Steve shrugs one shoulder, “Maybe…baby, can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“How do you feel about mixtapes?”


End file.
